But we can’t all be as lucky as J.D., unless of course you’re rich and hire someone to be your personal guitarist stalker. Hmm, now I almost want to save up just so I can go into the city with my guitarist stalker and see how people react. It would be a neat experiment… but I’m getting off-topic! What I’m really getting at is that music has forever been a vessel to convey messages and invoke emotions, and with this power (and the right song) it has the ability to enhance any given moment. Especially important moments, like, oh I don’t know, a wedding ceremony. Yeah, that’s a pretty important sequence of moments.

Since music affects how people respond emotionally to that particular moment, if you make your selections very carefully then your ceremony music will subtly influence their moods and emotions. That’s right, you can manipulate the mood of your guests without breaking a sweat. This is like mind-control, but with emotions! Doesn’t that idea make you want to tap your fingertips together and release a deep cackle that slowly builds into full-out evil laugh? I watch too many movies, I know.

thanks mr. burns  / © the simpsons

Okay, okay, so it’s not exactly mind-control, but it is pretty neat to think that your music may subtly influence your guests. For this reason, I’ve been searching for the perfect songs to create the ideal mood for our ceremony. I’ll tell you up front that none of our music is traditional, though some of these songs are starting to make more and more appearances in weddings.

Prelude

I’ve found some fantastic background music that would be perfect for a prelude. In fact, I didn’t even know we would have prelude music until I found these.

I really love Explosions in the Sky’s song, but I’m not sure if it’s too…. somber.

Bridesmaid Processional

For the bridesmaid and groomsmen processional, we wanted something a bit different but nonetheless fun. I don’t know which of these is my favorite yet, but Mr. Bunting informed me last night that they play Tristan Prettyman’s song at his work all the time, so if we went with that one he’d only be thinking of work. That kinda ruins it, so maybe someone else will enjoy it at their wedding instead.

Bridal Processional

While my 12-year-old self may tell you differently (y’know, if you had a time machine and wanted to use it to go visit my 12-year-old-self because you had nothing better to do), I just don’t see myself walking down the aisle to Canon D or any traditional bridal march. I am having a hard time finding just what it is I’ll be walking down the aisle to, probably because this is the most important song. These two songs are very lovely, but they just haven’t clicked with me yet. That probably means I should keep searching.

Recessional

I am SO excited for this song to start playing as our recessional after we’ve been pronounced husband and wife. It’s just so bubbly and happy! I can just imagine us dancing back down the aisle as everyone waves little flags and Daddy Bunting whistles (you know those ear-piercing two-finger whistles? I just know he’s going to do one).

While that wraps up the main contenders thus far, I’ve got one last song to share with you today. It was originally in the running for our recessional song, but I think it would be more appropriate as a reception song to dance to.

I just know all of the Disney-loving girls are going to flip when they hear this one. The Little Mermaid was one of my favorite movies as a child, so this is very fitting for me. Some girls loved Cinderella, some loved Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, but I was an Ariel girl all the way when it came to the Princesses (sorry, Jasmine, you’re my second fav). This remake is just so incredibly awesome-sauce.

What are your plans for your ceremony music? Are you going the traditional route or are you doing something different? Any suggestions that I may not have discovered yet?

I’m a picture person. I could spend hours (and often do) just looking at images online, in books, in magazines, everywhere. For this reason, I always knew that photography would be an important element to our wedding, and after getting engaged it was one of the first vendors I started searching for. I searched high and I searched low. I had specific standards for the photography, and if I was going to pay for it, then I was going to pay for it to be done in a style that I loved. Most of the local photographers I perused were nice, but didn’t jump out at me. When I discovered the online portfolios of our region’s high-end photographers, my standards shot even higher. But the price tag…. they were all simply more than I could afford.

photo by Bryan and Mae Photography

I didn’t give up, though. After approaching some of the high-end photographers with my projected budget, and being politely told it was too low for their packages, I asked them if they had any referrals that were more in my range. Don’t be afraid to do this if you discover someone you love but cannot afford, most of them were happy to make recommendations. Just be sure to be polite and thank them for their time, and don’t be offended if they don’t respond or have no information to share. It’s a competitive field, and while a lot of our regional photographers are on friendly terms with one another, it may not be the case everywhere.

Despite these referrals and despite my attempts to discover the lesser-known photographers’ portfolios (there are so many out there, and some are amazing and affordable but lack the advertisement), it was one of Mr. Bunting’s friends that turned us in the right direction. He had gone to school with someone who worked in the wedding photography industry with his girlfriend (now soon-to-be wife), and showed me some of their work via good ol’ Facebook. I immediately sought out their website and blog and was instantly in love. Their style was fresh, their images crisp, and their compositions absolutely beautiful. Their work reminded me of a refreshing breeze on a summer day, and was creative without being forced and cliché. It spoke to me as a bride and as an artist. That was exactly what I had been looking for. So I contacted them with our date, only to learn that there was another bride with the same date that they were meeting with that weekend. Crapcrapcrap. They told me they’d give her a week after the meeting to make her decision, and if she couldn’t make up her mind or decided against them, our date would be open again. (I should probably note that this was one year in advance, so don’t wait to book as dates can go fast with photographers.)

While I was not-so-patiently waiting for the other bride to have first choice, I discussed pricing with the photographers to see if we really could afford them. They were more than what I wanted to spend, but I loved their work and I felt a strong connection. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right? Right! I crunched numbers and dipped into my personal savings, and then fate helped us by sending some freelance art & design work my way. With the extra money and some of my savings I was thrilled to discover we could afford them. Yes, yes, yes!

Now for that other bride… I prayed and hoped and wished that she wouldn’t book them for our date. When one week was up and I hadn’t heard anything, I anxiously called to see if our date was still available. It was! So we set up a meeting over tea with the four of us, went over the contract, and wrote a deposit check right then and there.

I am so glad to have been able to splurge on Bryan and Mae - they are incredibly talented and such an amazing couple. I could not have asked for photographers that are more passionate about their work, their couples, or each other than they are. Even better, they’re so easy to get along with that even the photo-shy Mr. Bunting is excited to be in front of their camera again!

I know you’re all dying to see the engagement photos from our spring session, so I’ll shut up now and let the images speak for themselves.

It’s hard to stay on budget with every aspect of planning, but was there anything you splurged on because it was so important to you? Was it easy to make it work, or did it take some effort?

*All photos by Bryan and Mae Photography

And then we found it. A small park tucked away on a rural road. Set aside from the main park area was a lower grove designated for special events, complete with a large wooden trellis with vines clinging to its structure. There were winding paved walkways, a well-maintained pavilion building with overhang areas, and enough trees to make a squirrel gleeful. But best of all? There was a natural spring on-site, which fed a natural stream that meandered through the park. There were flowers and plants and all sorts of vegetation, and while the park does maintain the greenery, the landscaping is minimal so everything looks oh so natural. Perfectperfectperfect. After scoping out the spot with Mother Bunting and Daddy Bunting, we returned later with Mr. Bunting and he gave full approval.

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Hello, little waterfall!

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I thought choosing a venue for the ceremony was the hard part. Oh, no, that wasn’t so. Falling in love with our park was easy. Booking it was an entirely different story. We soon found out you cannot reserve the building and trellis for a wedding any more than 365 days in advance. So we spent several months waiting patiently (and sometimes not-so-patiently), all the while joking about how we hoped the park would be our official ceremony location.

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When the week of the 365-day mark arrived, we put our heads together to come up with our final game plan. Reservations could be made online, over the phone, or in person. The online option left too much chance to internet connections, so we didn’t want to risk that. Going in person meant you could get to the office early and be first in line, but if an employee got to the office early and wouldn’t let you in quite yet, someone else could be calling on the phone while you’re outside, and game over, phone-person gets the reservation. This system of first-come first-serve is the most frustrating and innane system I have experienced.

So we may have cheated.

image via icanhascheezburger.com

Alright, it wasn’t exactly cheating, though it did involve finding a loophole in the system. But we had to, because in hindsight, we would have lost our date to someone else. I should probably mention that by this time, we had already booked several other vendors with our specific date, so changing dates was not a viable option. Plus, I was already attached to it and was unwilling to give that number up. But back to, ahem, our clever ploy. We discovered that with online booking, dates became available at 12:00am on the 365-day marker. This was a little known secret that the park doesn’t mention, because they consider it a glitch that creates an unfair advantage. I am certainly not below taking advantage of this glitch when it comes to our lovely park. So with several friends and family members, we refreshed our browsers late that night until the booking was available, and then we raced to make the reservation. I was the first of our party to complete the form and submit it. Success! We had a confirmation and booking number! Seven hours later, we had another group ready to start dialing the office number 10 minutes before they officially opened. One of us got through to a person before the others, and we confirmed our reservation. Whew! What a rush! But this was only for the rehearsal dinner. We had to do the same thing again that night for the actual wedding. We had no problems with the online reservation trick the second time, and after sleeping for a bit we got up early to make the phone round again.

Our phones were ringing. Nothing. Hang up and try again. Ringing. Nothing. Hang up and try again. Over and over, until I got a busy signal. Someone must have got through! I crossed my fingers and hoped that it was someone from my calling party while I continued to hang up and re-dial. Finally, a voice picked up and I tried to calmly tell them I wanted to confirm my reservation.

“Oh, are you with the Buntings?”

“Yes!”

“Heheh, you pissed off a lot of people this morning.”

Whoops. Apparently I was the first of my calling party to connect, but there were two separate callers that got through to the operator before me. And they were told that sorry, someone already made a reservation for that day. Wow. We were that close to not getting our park on our day. If it hadn’t been for that online trick, I would have been one sad Miss Bunting. But I’m not, and the park is all ours! (Bwahaha!) What a huge relief! I do feel bad for the other parties who wanted that date, but honestly, they could have very well been booking for an open house or family picnic instead of a wedding and I regret nothing.

Did anyone else have to jump through ridiculous hoops to book their venue or vendor?

Finding the right band took some time and research on our part. I’m definitely not the type of person who can walk into the first store, pick something out, and make a decision without considering my other options. Especially when that something is as important (and pricey) as a wedding band. We originally were going to get a ring made of Damascus metal from an artist online, but we both decided we’d like to have the customer service and warranty offered through a well-established jeweler, who we knew would be around in 10 years in case something happened to our ring. There are some VERY neat rings out there. I’m talking zebra-swirl patterns, wood or water buffalo horn inlays, and even rings made from meteorites! But, again, we needed to think long-term durability for the ring we’d say our vows on.

So Mr. Bunting and I went to every jewelry store in the area to learn as much as we could about the options as well as to see all the designs available. The design was up to him, but I took it upon myself to research the different properties of metals and non-metals so we would end up with something that fit us.

I am by no means claiming to be an expert, but here is my understanding of some of the contemporary metals/non-metals (and gold) that are becoming more and more popular.

Gold

image via Engagement Rings Plus

 

Gold would have been our top choice, but with the current market prices it is something we just simply cannot afford.

Benefits: Aside from it’s aesthetics, rings made of gold can be re-sized again and again. This is great, especially if he loses or gains weight down the road.

Disadvantages: Expensive! It will also scratch. It can be polished, but every time it’s polished you’re losing a tiiiiiiny bit of the surface. It is also malleable, meaning over time it’s likely that the band will wear thin (this can be fixed by adding a ‘shank’) or become misshapen.

Titanium and Stainless Steel

image via Wedding Rings Reviews

 

Every jeweler we talked to said they would never recommend titanium because of how easily it scratches. One even said you could buy a new scratch-free ring, and by the time you got out the door, it would be scratched already. Obviously this is a bit of an exaggeration, but we threw this option out the window right away. Stainless steel was also discouraged because it scratches easily as well. Granted nothing is scratch-proof, but the stories we heard were enough to make us keep looking at other options.

Benefits: Very affordable.

Disadvantages: Scratches waaaaaaaay too easily.

Tungsten Carbide

image via Titanium Jewelry

 

Tungsten carbide is one of the more popular contemporary metal choices right now, and I’m sure a lot of you know someone that has one. I originally thought we would get a tungsten carbide ring for Mr. Bunting, but we both quickly changed our mind when we read up on it a little more.

While it comes in many designs and three colors (white, gray, black), can be inlaid with other materials, and is VERY scratch resistant (but not scratch-proof), the drawbacks were just too much for us. Tungsten carbide is very, very hard. Combined with it’s high scratch-resistance, it was originally advertised as being indestructible. This is FAR from the truth. Because tungsten carbide is so hard, it has little flexibility. So if enough pressure is applied at the right point(s), it will shatter. In case of an emergency, you can actually use pliers to break it off. Unfortunately, this brittleness means that if its wearer drops it on a hard surface, like the locker room floor or a marble counter, it could very well break or chip. If you buy your ring from an established jeweler, they may offer replacement warranties. This means you have to send in the fragments of your old ring and you’ll get a brand new one, but it also means bye-bye to the ring you said your vows over.

Mr. Bunting and I didn’t like the idea of his wedding band shattering if accidentally dropped, but it really is a personal decision you’ll have to make. It’s great that it’s so scratch-resistant, but if you YouTube tungsten carbide rings shattering, you’ll see just how fragile they can be.

Benefits: Very affordable (you can find rings as low as $20), scratch-resistant, many designs and styles to fit every personality.

Disadvantages: It is brittle and will shatter or chip if dropped on a hard surface, cannot be re-sized.

Black Ceramic

image via My Jewelry Box

 

I believe ceramic rings are a newer trend. The majority we saw were black, but they can be made in pink as well. Y’know, in case he absolutely loves pink.

Ceramic rings are not, as one may initially think, created through the the same process as ceramic tiles or pottery, so don’t let the name fool you into thinking this will break at the slightest touch. However, like tungsten carbide, they can still potentially chip if dropped. My understanding is that they are not quite as scratch-resistant as tungsten, and I’ve heard mixed reviews about whether they’re more or less breakable than tungsten.

One jeweler we talked to had his own wedding band made of this, and he loved it. His ring was three years old at the time, and wasn’t scratched at all. However, another jeweler we talked to wouldn’t recommend it for a wedding ring just because there wasn’t enough information about the material for her to look us in the eye and say, yes, you will be satisfied with this ring.

Black ceramic was a top choice for us because it looks so neat, but we just didn’t have enough information to feel comfortable with it as Mr. Bunting’s wedding band. If we were shopping for a casual ring, though, I would definitely buy something made of black ceramic.

Benefits: These rings are SUPER light weight! It honestly feels almost as light as plastic, which is great if he hates the feeling of something on his finger. The color is throughout the entire material instead of just a surface coating, so if it does scratch, it will only reveal more black instead of  silver or white. They are affordable, and come in some very sleek and modern designs. They are also scratch-resistant.

Disadvantages: Still has the potential to chip or break and cannot be re-sized. Black ceramic has been used widely in men’s watches, but seems to be relatively new in the wedding band industry. Hence, there is little out there about its overall durability as a wedding ring.

Cobalt (Brute, Brawn, Armor)

image via Scott Kay

 

You may see these popping up more and more at different jewelers. We saw them under the names Brute Cobalt, Brawn Cobalt, and Armor Cobalt, but they’re all the same thing (just slightly different design lines depending on what jeweler you go to). The process is patented by Scott Kay, an American jeweler who absolutely hates tungsten carbide for use in wedding bands (just visit his website and you’ll find those shattering videos I was talking about). I thought I heard that cobalt can be found in other rings as a sort of additive material, but these cobalt rings are only made by Scott Kay since it’s a patented process. Because I don’t know how any cobalt-additives (if they exist) compare to Scott Kay cobalt, we stayed away from rings that weren’t officially SK.

Cobalt is moderately scratch-resistant. Not as much as tungsten carbide or black ceramic, but definitely more-so than gold. It will not bend or shatter/break. You need to use a diamond-tip blade to cut it off, but more and more Emergency Rooms have these on hand.  It cannot be re-sized, but it is a very bright white color that won’t tarnish.

For those with skin sensitivities, it is hypoallergenic. In fact, cobalt is even bio-compatible, meaning it lives in harmony inside the human body and has been used in the medical field for such things as joint replacements.

Benefits: Made in the USA (for those who want to avoid any conflict-jewelry), will not bend/break, bright white in color, scratch-resistant and durable.

Disadvantages: Cannot be re-sized, limited only to the white color, also limited to Scott Kay’s designs so no fancy black inlays.

There is no “perfect” wedding band material. None of them, despite what anyone tells you, are 100% scratch-proof, and tungsten is definitely not indestructible. So, after going from one material to another, we finally settled on our decision: SK Cobalt. We liked that it wouldn’t shatter if dropped, was still scratch resistant, and was whiter than white gold. It was also still within our budget, and even though there were no really neat inlays offered, we purchased a ring that we both loved and, more importantly, were confident of.

Did anyone else find themselves learning more about metals and non-metals when searching for the right band? Did your findings surprise you at all? Any other interesting tidbits I may have missed? I thought for sure we’d end up with tungsten going in to it, and I was a bit shocked to learn it wasn’t as durable as I thought. I know most men do not wear the same wedding band their ENTIRE lives, but I’d rather upgrade it with an anniversary ring than replace it because it shattered.