It took months of ups and downs (mainly downs) and searching and phone calls and e-mails and more phone calls and waiting and even more phone calls and finally…. we have it. We had contacted everyone we possibly could that was involved with his adoption and called the passport agency on a daily basis for help, all to no avail.

So how did we finally get it? Well that’s the real kicker.

The passport agency had the missing document the entire time. I didn’t know whether I wanted to hug someone or punch someone. The letter we had received in the mail was a generic letter for those who hadn’t submitted an alien registration card and/or a final adoption decree. The alien registration card we had, but didn’t want to submit without the final adoption decree, which we didn’t think we had. The tricky thing about a final adoption decree is that it does not say “final adoption decree” ANYWHERE on it, so what you think may suffice may not (turns out it actually did) hence the wild goose chase for the mysterious, unlabeled document.

So yes, because we hadn’t submitted his alien card, we received the generic letter, which led us to believe that we were also missing the ambiguous adoption decree. The miscommunication does not stop here folks, oh no. All of this drama would have been avoidable, or at least short-lived, if we had established contact with Mr. Bunting’s assigned caseworker. But we didn’t. His caseworker had called and left a voicemail message at one point with a callback number that always went straight to some general voicemail. Mr. Bunting left numerous messages for this voicemail. He called the general passport hotline daily and left messages for his caseworker there, too. Each time he was told they would put a note in his file since they couldn’t access his caseworker’s contact information (seriously?). So we waited and called, waited and called, and began to wonder if this caseworker even existed.

Until one day, when FINALLY his caseworker called. Turns out to be a super friendly and helpful guy who never got any of our messages. This infuriates me. Someone dropped the ball over there. Multiple times. For weeks.

He apologized profusely, promised he’d personally speak to the head of the call center to see why they failed to forward any message, and then proceeded to explain to Mr. Bunting that he had the adoption decree already and if we would kindly send in his alien registration card he could be approved for a U.S. passport.

I still feel like hugging and punching at the same time. Where’s a mosh pit when you need one?

All in all, though, we were so relieved to have heard such great news and promptly put his alien card in the mail. Several days later, we were told that his passport was approved and printed. Add several more days, and there it was in the mail box. Which means we’re going on our international honeymoon, whoo-hoooooo!

Did you encounter any unexpected obstacles in your planning? Did it all work out in the end? Does anyone have a fireproof safe I can borrow to store this damned thing in?

You know that feeling when you suddenly experience such a huge rush of excitement that your hands shake and your heart skips from all the adrenaline coursing through your veins? My hands are shaking, my heart is skipping, and I fear I’m going to spew verbal rainbows everywhere (I don’t know what that would look or sound like, but I may soon find out). This is a problem since I’m still at work, and if a customer comes to my counter I could very well start gibbering and dancing like a mad woman.

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I just can’t help it, though! Here I am before you as the newest bee, and hive, I am SO thrilled to be here as your Miss Bunting. So here I sit, ready to bare my soul and share it all with you…. and I find that despite being absolutely giddy with glee, I am speechless with the overwhelming pressure of writing my introductory post. What do I say? Where do I start? Okay, let’s start with Mr. Bunting’s reaction to my, well, reaction to Pengy’s e-mail. Somehow I managed to coordinate my mind with my fingers and I typed out a text message to Mr. Bunting, who promptly responded with this:

“AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU WOULD BEE!!! HARHARHARHAR!! CONGRATS!!”

We just may love puns, and we just may be total geeks. (This is actually a two-fer for Mr. Bunting because my first name starts with the letter “B’, so one of his pet names for me is the letter as sounded out – ‘Bee’. In the words of Mr. Bunting, harharharhar!)

image by Kamp Photography via Poppytalk

So why have I chosen Miss Bunting? As you will soon find out, I have an obsession with pretty things hanging from ceilings, trees, walls, poles, and sometimes llamas. This certainly includes super-cute bunting flags, and I thought that it was a wonderful fit for both my personality and our wedding.

(That’s me at the dolphin tank at Sea World! If I didn’t have my friend there to physically restrain me, I probably would have jumped in with them.)

So a little about me… I am a:

• graduate with a degree in Art & Design
• illustrator and web designer
• plant. okay, not really, but I do require sunshine and warmth or I’ll wither

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Now say hello to Mr. Bunting! He is a:

• graduate with a degree in History
• complete computer and video game geek
• secretly a raccoon. maybe. (he does have to wash his hands before and after each meal)

To give you a bit of background, Mr. Bunting and I started dating our junior year of high school and never looked back. We’ve been together now for over seven years, so this wedding doesn’t really come as a surprise to anyone.

personal photo, circa 2005

Aww, would you look at that, the Buntings were prom king and queen back in their day! Ironically, we didn’t even know we were prime candidates so this came as complete shock to us. And you know what Mr. Bunting’s first order of business was after being crowned king and having first dance with me? He knighted one of his friends with a toy light saber. I have no idea where that light saber came from, but like I said – total geeks.

After high school, we both attended the same university where I received my Bachelor of Fine Art in illustration and Mr. Bunting received his Bachelor of Science in history. Just a few short weeks before throwing our mortorboard caps in the air, Mr. Bunting proposed in such a gloriously romantic fashion that it deserves a post all of its own. We took a month or two to relax and simply enjoy our new engagement, and then I dove in head-first. And boy, I have not come up for air since! I must be part wedding-mermaid, because I don’t feel like I’m drowning at all. On the contrary, I am having so much fun looking for inspiration, tackling DIY projects, and organizing all the little details that my co-worker is convinced I should pursue it as a career (ha, we’ll see). It’s not that surprising since it involves a handful of things I love – details, organization, DIY crafts, installation art & design, and most importantly: Mr. Bunting.

image by Bryan & Mae Photography

We’ve been planning our wedding for a year and a half, but now it’s really crunch time and I cannot wait to share everything with you! I promise there will be a plethora of color, texture, garlands, and tissue poms (unfortunately there are no plans involving llamas).

But we can’t all be as lucky as J.D., unless of course you’re rich and hire someone to be your personal guitarist stalker. Hmm, now I almost want to save up just so I can go into the city with my guitarist stalker and see how people react. It would be a neat experiment… but I’m getting off-topic! What I’m really getting at is that music has forever been a vessel to convey messages and invoke emotions, and with this power (and the right song) it has the ability to enhance any given moment. Especially important moments, like, oh I don’t know, a wedding ceremony. Yeah, that’s a pretty important sequence of moments.

Since music affects how people respond emotionally to that particular moment, if you make your selections very carefully then your ceremony music will subtly influence their moods and emotions. That’s right, you can manipulate the mood of your guests without breaking a sweat. This is like mind-control, but with emotions! Doesn’t that idea make you want to tap your fingertips together and release a deep cackle that slowly builds into full-out evil laugh? I watch too many movies, I know.

thanks mr. burns  / © the simpsons

Okay, okay, so it’s not exactly mind-control, but it is pretty neat to think that your music may subtly influence your guests. For this reason, I’ve been searching for the perfect songs to create the ideal mood for our ceremony. I’ll tell you up front that none of our music is traditional, though some of these songs are starting to make more and more appearances in weddings.

Prelude

I’ve found some fantastic background music that would be perfect for a prelude. In fact, I didn’t even know we would have prelude music until I found these.

I really love Explosions in the Sky’s song, but I’m not sure if it’s too…. somber.

Bridesmaid Processional

For the bridesmaid and groomsmen processional, we wanted something a bit different but nonetheless fun. I don’t know which of these is my favorite yet, but Mr. Bunting informed me last night that they play Tristan Prettyman’s song at his work all the time, so if we went with that one he’d only be thinking of work. That kinda ruins it, so maybe someone else will enjoy it at their wedding instead.

Bridal Processional

While my 12-year-old self may tell you differently (y’know, if you had a time machine and wanted to use it to go visit my 12-year-old-self because you had nothing better to do), I just don’t see myself walking down the aisle to Canon D or any traditional bridal march. I am having a hard time finding just what it is I’ll be walking down the aisle to, probably because this is the most important song. These two songs are very lovely, but they just haven’t clicked with me yet. That probably means I should keep searching.

Recessional

I am SO excited for this song to start playing as our recessional after we’ve been pronounced husband and wife. It’s just so bubbly and happy! I can just imagine us dancing back down the aisle as everyone waves little flags and Daddy Bunting whistles (you know those ear-piercing two-finger whistles? I just know he’s going to do one).

While that wraps up the main contenders thus far, I’ve got one last song to share with you today. It was originally in the running for our recessional song, but I think it would be more appropriate as a reception song to dance to.

I just know all of the Disney-loving girls are going to flip when they hear this one. The Little Mermaid was one of my favorite movies as a child, so this is very fitting for me. Some girls loved Cinderella, some loved Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, but I was an Ariel girl all the way when it came to the Princesses (sorry, Jasmine, you’re my second fav). This remake is just so incredibly awesome-sauce.

What are your plans for your ceremony music? Are you going the traditional route or are you doing something different? Any suggestions that I may not have discovered yet?

At 5am that morning, I had left with a group of classmates to go on a 2-month geology adventure to the canyonlands of the southwest. By the time I got the call, we were already several states away in our van. There is no greater feeling of helplessness than when your loved one is in need, and you can’t even be there. But I have amazing parents and they arranged an emergency return flight for me, so by 11pm I was finally pulling into his driveway.

I know the anniversary of his father’s death is, and always will be, a sorrowful time for Mr. Bunting. I also know that this year may be especially hard as our wedding day approaches, knowing is father won’t be there. I never once fathomed that we would be missing one of our parents when we finally exchanged vows, but you can never really see sudden tragedies coming.

I think it’s important to honor those who are with us in spirit at our wedding, especially since they have played such crucial roles in our lives. So I’ve taken it upon myself to find a way to incorporate his father into the wedding in a way that will commemorate his memory without detracting from the celebratory mood of the day. I already plan on including some memorial wording on our programs, but I almost feel as if that’s not enough tribute.

image via Daniel D. Eubank’s Blog

Both of Mr. Bunting’s parents served in the Navy, so when his father passed away, his family received a folded American flag as is customary. (If you’re curious as to what the 13 folds signify, read about it here.) I’ve read about weddings that have a single rose or flower placed on an empty seat for those who have passed, but seeing as how his father was not really a flower guy, I thought it might be more appropriate to use the folded flag in addition to a rose. I do need to run this past Mr. Bunting and his mother for full approval, as I don’t want to draw attention if they would prefer otherwise, but I think it’s a touching gesture.

While searching for creative ways to honor the deceased, I came across a multitude of sentimental ideas for all situations. Some of them are subtle, some of them are not, but  if you’re struggling with ways to honor a loved one at your wedding then you’re bound to find one that speaks to you or at least inspires you.

Prayer: One of the easiest ways to remember those who have passed in a religious ceremony is to include them in the prayer.

Moment of Silence: Including a moment of silence to acknowledge the dearly departed is another thoughtful gesture that can be including in the prayer, after the prayer, or separate entirely.

Remembrance Table: Setting up a memorial table at the ceremony or reception allows you to display a collection of photos and personal belongings or symbols of those who passed.

Candles: If you’re performing the Unity Candle ceremony, both mothers traditionally light a candle to represent their branch of family. After lighting this candle, the widow can break away to light a separate memorial candle in honor of a lost father. You can also have a special candle lit in memory even without the rest of the Unity ceremony.

image via Flickr

Something Old: Incorporating a piece of jewelry or clothing that belonged to your loved one in your wedding-day attire is a great way to carry them with you. I’ve seen some brides that include a brooch or charm that belonged to their mother or grandmother in their bouquet or wedding jewelry. Don’t have a charm? No problem, you can get a small photo laminated, glued to felt, and woven into the bouquet with ribbon. Or you can sew a piece of lace in the lining of your dress (this can also be a family tradition passed on from mother to daughter over the generations). One bride who had lost her father was still able to walk down the aisle with him with shoe charms that held his photo. I won’t lie, that one really pulls on my heartstrings.

To honor the men, think about wrapping the bouquet stem with the father or grandfather’s vintage handkerchief or having the groom wear a set of his father or grandfather’s cuff links.

Dance Away: Dedicate a song in memory of your loved one either at the reception or even during the ceremony. Though I personally know I would start bawling, you can even consider walking down the aisle to their favorite song.

In Memory Of: Select a reading or poem that was a favorite of that person to be read during the ceremony. If you feel like a reading would choke people up too much, consider including it in the program with a “In Loving Memory Of” line for people to read at their leisure.

image via My Spiritual Wedding

Remembrance Vase: I found these hand-blown glass vases that can be personalized with an etched phrase or name. These would work as a subtle honorarium piece to include on a Remembrance table or to even hold the bride’s bouquet at the reception.

By the time most of us get married, we have already lost someone dear to us. These are people we grew up with or have come to love, who have helped in one way or another shape us into the people we are today.  While I don’t think you should focus solely on the sorrow of their absence at your wedding (afterall, this is an affair that celebrates new beginnings), I do encourage honoring them in a way that is personal and special to you so that it keeps their memory alive.

If you or your partner has lost someone, are you planning on including them in some way? How are you going to do it?

image via GraphicsHunt

I’m pointing a finger at our different up-bringings for this. My dad listens to country and bands like Jackson Browne. His dad listened to bands like The Ramones and punk rock like Rancid and Sex Pistols. But then Mr. Bunting and I met, and it was such a great love that we only focused on where our tastes did cross (musical tastes, not tastebuds. Geez, we didn’t make out all the time). That, and I was so hooked I’d give anything he listened to a try because he liked it, I liked him, and by proxy I liked what he liked. That was my high school girl mentality. It was so strong that our first concert together was Norma Jean (I don’t think I could understand a single word that was screamed, but I had a blast nonetheless).

Truth be told, even though I don’t particularly enjoy some of Mr. Bunting’s bands, he has introduced me to a lot of bands that I absolutely love. Before Pandora came along, I relied heavily on him for new sources of music and he always delivered. He introduced me to Paramore (before the radio discovered them), Anberlin, Mae, and Innerpartysystem. Hoo, do I love me some Innerpartysystem. (I swear I’m going somewhere with this, though, so just bare with me.)

So while we do share some common musical interests, we both have strong(ish) opinions about the rest of the music we enjoy individually, and hive…  I have no idea what type of music our reception will have. (See, I told you there was a point to all of this!)

I would love some country songs because that’s what I grew up on, but he still hasn’t grown accustomed to “the twang”. We both love electronica and techno, but let’s face it, not everyone can dance to that without the glowsticks and strobe lights. And the screaming artists that are his favorite? Our guests just don’t share the same musical palate and would be running for cover!

Well then, what about including some popular dance and R&B songs for people to groove to? Oh, I didn’t mention that Mr. Bunting refuses to listen to the radio just to avoid all of those mainstream songs? Why yes in fact, when I borrow his car and he’s forced to take mine, my car is returned to me with the radio turned off because he would rather listen to silence. Oh, silly, silly boy.

So our only solution is to play Journey all night long, because “Don’t Stop Believing” is totally our jam.

image via Meme Generator

Okay, not really, though I don’t think I’d ever get sick of that song.

Realistically I won’t have to worry that much because our DJ will be reading and catering to the mood of the crowd, but as we work on our must-play and do-not-play list, music is a current concern for me. It’s important to me that our wedding embraces the individuality of both Mr. Bunting and I, and music plays such a large role in his life that I don’t want to tell him to just “suck it up and deal”. I also, like most any bride, want everyone to have a blast on the dance floor, but how to accomplish this is beyond me. How much country can we get away with to satisfy my western roots without sending all of our country-hating friends for the hills (cities)? Can we slip in some techno and electronica, or will the older generations cringe? Just how do you please such a diverse group of musical tastes? Just what is it about Journey that brings people together? Wow, I just asked a lot of questions, and I don’t have an answer for any of them. I guess we’ll just do our best to come up with a balanced mix and then find out at the reception!

Is anyone else facing this dilemma of varying musical tastes between you and your partner?

And then we found it. A small park tucked away on a rural road. Set aside from the main park area was a lower grove designated for special events, complete with a large wooden trellis with vines clinging to its structure. There were winding paved walkways, a well-maintained pavilion building with overhang areas, and enough trees to make a squirrel gleeful. But best of all? There was a natural spring on-site, which fed a natural stream that meandered through the park. There were flowers and plants and all sorts of vegetation, and while the park does maintain the greenery, the landscaping is minimal so everything looks oh so natural. Perfectperfectperfect. After scoping out the spot with Mother Bunting and Daddy Bunting, we returned later with Mr. Bunting and he gave full approval.

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Hello, little waterfall!

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I thought choosing a venue for the ceremony was the hard part. Oh, no, that wasn’t so. Falling in love with our park was easy. Booking it was an entirely different story. We soon found out you cannot reserve the building and trellis for a wedding any more than 365 days in advance. So we spent several months waiting patiently (and sometimes not-so-patiently), all the while joking about how we hoped the park would be our official ceremony location.

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When the week of the 365-day mark arrived, we put our heads together to come up with our final game plan. Reservations could be made online, over the phone, or in person. The online option left too much chance to internet connections, so we didn’t want to risk that. Going in person meant you could get to the office early and be first in line, but if an employee got to the office early and wouldn’t let you in quite yet, someone else could be calling on the phone while you’re outside, and game over, phone-person gets the reservation. This system of first-come first-serve is the most frustrating and innane system I have experienced.

So we may have cheated.

image via icanhascheezburger.com

Alright, it wasn’t exactly cheating, though it did involve finding a loophole in the system. But we had to, because in hindsight, we would have lost our date to someone else. I should probably mention that by this time, we had already booked several other vendors with our specific date, so changing dates was not a viable option. Plus, I was already attached to it and was unwilling to give that number up. But back to, ahem, our clever ploy. We discovered that with online booking, dates became available at 12:00am on the 365-day marker. This was a little known secret that the park doesn’t mention, because they consider it a glitch that creates an unfair advantage. I am certainly not below taking advantage of this glitch when it comes to our lovely park. So with several friends and family members, we refreshed our browsers late that night until the booking was available, and then we raced to make the reservation. I was the first of our party to complete the form and submit it. Success! We had a confirmation and booking number! Seven hours later, we had another group ready to start dialing the office number 10 minutes before they officially opened. One of us got through to a person before the others, and we confirmed our reservation. Whew! What a rush! But this was only for the rehearsal dinner. We had to do the same thing again that night for the actual wedding. We had no problems with the online reservation trick the second time, and after sleeping for a bit we got up early to make the phone round again.

Our phones were ringing. Nothing. Hang up and try again. Ringing. Nothing. Hang up and try again. Over and over, until I got a busy signal. Someone must have got through! I crossed my fingers and hoped that it was someone from my calling party while I continued to hang up and re-dial. Finally, a voice picked up and I tried to calmly tell them I wanted to confirm my reservation.

“Oh, are you with the Buntings?”

“Yes!”

“Heheh, you pissed off a lot of people this morning.”

Whoops. Apparently I was the first of my calling party to connect, but there were two separate callers that got through to the operator before me. And they were told that sorry, someone already made a reservation for that day. Wow. We were that close to not getting our park on our day. If it hadn’t been for that online trick, I would have been one sad Miss Bunting. But I’m not, and the park is all ours! (Bwahaha!) What a huge relief! I do feel bad for the other parties who wanted that date, but honestly, they could have very well been booking for an open house or family picnic instead of a wedding and I regret nothing.

Did anyone else have to jump through ridiculous hoops to book their venue or vendor?

art by disney, the rest by yours truly

I have had the Riverbends for the majority of my wedding planning decisions. Yes, I even get that crazed look. There’s always one more I can look at, just to be absolutely positively certain that this one is the best one. This applies to cake designs, dresses, colors, centerpiece choices, flowers, and most importantly, vendors. You would think that my obsessive “just one more” habit would make sure that I always end up satisfied, right? I would think so, too, as that would be, oh, I don’t know, logical. Well, this isn’t always so.

Granted, I usually do end up completely satisfied with my decision, but I often go through that awful heart-wrenching, throat-tightening, and mind-numbing phase of doubt. Did I choose the right dress? Are these the colors I really want? Will this look dumb? Is he the best DJ? Does this venue fit with the style I’m going for?

I know many of you must have asked yourself the same questions at some point. It’s awful, right? I’ve second-guessed just about every major decision I’ve made at one point or another. And for a few days, or even a few weeks, I’d be writhing in my skin because I couldn’t figure out if I had made the best choice or not. It really does seem petty now, especially when you think about it rationally. Are blue table linens instead of purple table linens going to be the end of the world? No. And it certainly isn’t going to be the end of the wedding, either. But for some reason, during those moments, the pressure weighs heavy. I guess when we’re planning so many aspects and have so many tasks, it’s easy to get caught up in the details.

So what does Miss Bunting do when she starts wondering if it’s too late to change her mind? Well, if it’s possible, she does change her mind. Not hours after we had placed our order for the groomsmen pants, we had to turn the car right back around and change the color. And by ‘we’, I mean mainly me. It may be silly, but I felt much better with my second decision because in my gut, I knew the original pick didn’t suit (why hello pun) the look we wanted.

This is not always an option, though, especially when it comes to decisions that involve losing large amounts of money. Like, dresses, or venues, for instance. I admit that I went through the second-guessing phase for both of these. When we first made the commitment, I was pleased and excited. Then, at some undetermined amount of time later (perhaps weeks.. perhaps months), I felt those pangs of doubt and panic. There was no way I was buying another dress, and we had already put down deposits on the venues, so I fought with my inner anxiety and tried to convince myself everything was perfect. In times like this, sometimes the best solution is to try to forget about it for several days and give your mind a breather, then re-visit the venue or put the dress back on with your best buddie in tow. With their positive support and a fresh outlook you could very well remember why you loved it in the first place. Fortunately for me, this works wonders. Sometimes being away from something leaves too much to the imagination, and you can start to question what was so great about it to begin with. But when you can see it again in person, touch it, feel it, discuss what will hang where and so forth… well, that could be the best reassurance that yes, you did make the right choice.

Who else has experienced times of doubt or regret during the planning process? How did you overcome it?

Yes, I was totally one of those kids who would try to find any hidden Christmas presents before Christmas. But I also do enjoy surprises, so when I found where they were hidden I just couldn’t bring myself to finish peeking. Apparently it was enough just to know where they were hidden.

image via DeClubz

The same goes for our wedding registry. Mr. Bunting and I have invested a LOT of time and brainpower into our wedding registry. Just how much, you ask? Let’s just say that when someone told me about their friend who spent three hours in Bed Bath & Beyond, I responded with “Oh, which time?” We have been to that store so many times that the people know us by name, and each time our duration was at least two hours in length.  It’s not that we’re greedy, it’s just that we have to start from scratch with everything. The majority of our possessions are what I like to call “college” quality, meaning they’re great for when you’re a college student but could now stand to be replaced. So we needed to register for many, many things, and since we were both fresh out of college, neither of us really knew what we needed or wanted now that we were entering the “real” world. We knew absolutely nothing about what brands to buy, either, hence a lot of time in the store comparing pots and pans (Mother Bunting is my hero and helped us out immensely).

Since we took such great care with our selections, I am genuinely excited about the items we registered for. And I’m just dying to know what we’ll be getting off that list! My curiosity is like a little whirlwind in all of its eagerness, but do I really want to ruin the surprise of what people have purchased? No. No I do not.

So I have found a compromise that satisfies both desires without giving away too much. Whenever I feel that curiosity stirring, I open a new internet window, make it reaaaaally short, and log in to my registry. This way I can watch the number of gifts go up without actually seeing what has been purchased. Somehow, I still have the willpower not to scroll down. Okay, I may have scrolled down just a teeeensy bit once or twice, but I’ve been pretty good! If you find that you can’t resist, though, then unfortunately this technique won’t work for you.

Is anyone else as curious as I am when it comes to these things? What tricks have you discovered to satisfy your craving, or are you simply unashamed to browse the full registry?

I’m trying hard not to freak out. I’m trying really hard, but yesterday I went home early from work with a migraine and nausea.

There’s a small, very real, but small chance we will not be able to go on our international honeymoon.

There’s a small, ever scarier, and still very real chance that we will not be able to get legally married on our wedding day.

image via meme generator

I don’t mean to be a drama llama, but that freaks me out. A lot. Now I’m sure you’re wondering why and how, so let me explain.

Mr. Bunting was adopted. More importantly, Mr. Bunting was adopted from Japan. Even though he’s been living in the U.S. for pretty much his entire life, we’re having a hard time proving he’s a US Citizen to get his passport. After he talked to our local court and post office regarding requirements, we submitted all of the paperwork we had in hopes that whoever reviewed it would say (with a classy accent) “Oh, why yes, I can see from these things that he is indeed a citizen of the United States. Approved!”

That was not the case. We got a letter saying they needed additional documents. We had one of the two documents, but the other… well, we had no idea what it was or where to get it. And that was the most frustrating thing, because we didn’t even know where to begin. We’ve since tried calling the passport agency hotline, the Japanese embassy in Washington, D.C., and even tried called Japan herself. Okay, not the country as a whole, but Mr. Bunting had a phone number only to discover he can’t make international calls on his cellphone.

Now for the other kicker. Mr. Bunting does not have a birth certificate. At least none of us have one for him. And you know what you need a birth certificate for? A marriage license. Yep. So no getting legally married without one. It has to exist somewhere, right?

Worst case scenario: We push back our honeymoon until we have his passport. We bought cancel-for-any-reason insurance, so as much as it would suck to not go on our honeymoon two days after the wedding, it’s doable. As for the wedding itself, my mom assured me that we could still go through with everything and not tell anyone. Then, once we have a birth certificate, we can get legally married at the courthouse. This is doable, too, but I really want to get married in every way on our wedding day. I can just see myself smiling one moment and then, when we’re pronounced married, hysterically sobbing and crying out “It’s all LIES!” (<- That’s the Drama Llama talking again).

I know we’ll figure this out, one way or another. Fortunately we still have some time, though the window is getting smaller. But we will be married. It’s just getting there that’s so hard.

Has anyone else experienced major obstacles like this? And if you or your FH was adopted, especially from another country, please, please, please start organizing all those important documents now. Because if you don’t have them already, it may require some time to get them, and you don’t want to be in a situation like this. Because this sucks. Oh, there’s that Llama again.

The date was December 3rd, the year 2009.

Cue flashback music and foggy effects.

It was the night of my BFA Exhibit, the thesis art show I had been working toward for the past 4.5 years since first stepping into the art department as a freshman student. The past six months revolved around this single show: brainstorming ideas and themes, deciding on subject matter, creating the art work, refining the art work, figuring out how to display everything, designing and mailing out postcards to those invited to the reception, organizing food (this is beginning to sound like a mini wedding, isn’t it?), putting my thoughts into words with an artist statement, and making it all come together in a professional manner. Like most thesis projects, if you didn’t do it right then you wouldn’t graduate from the program.

My show, which was a collaborative effort between three other people, had already been on display for a week before a closing reception to celebrate it all. The closing reception was a huge success, with merriment and food and of course, plenty of art. The place was packed with people from start to well-after finish, so I was already on a high with my delight. Our group of friends planned to to head out to a restaurant after the reception to celebrate, so after we got the food cleaned up people started drifting away with the intention to meet us there. I said good-byes to my immediate family (some of whom had traveled from out-of-town) since they weren’t going out with us. Mr. Bunting, who had been my boyfriend for the past 5.5 years, and I were the last to leave. Once I had retrieved my coat and things, he told me he had a surprise for me. My thoughts? He must have bought me a present for finishing my exhibit, how sweet! Instead, he blind-folded me and spun me around multiple times, then lead me down the hall. I was asked to plug my ears, which I did so suspiciously. Because I like the full effect of surprises, I plugged them tight so I couldn’t see or hear anything. I could tell when we went outside, though, because it was significantly colder and I could suddenly feel snowflakes on my face. I could also smell something warm and good, like woodsmoke. This routed my suspicion in an entirely new direction, and my excitement grew as I speculated about what was going to happen.

personal photo

Even my assumptions didn’t prepare me. When I removed the blind-fold, I was greeted by a half-circle of my closest friends and family, all holding sparklers as these huge fluffy snowflakes of the first real snowfall drifted down.

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Mr. Bunting got down on one knee and asked me if I would do him the honor of being his wife. I didn’t hesitate for a moment with my answer – YES! And then the bells started ringing from the campus clocktower. No kidding. There were bells. They were ringing. There were actual ringing bells not seconds after I said yes. And it was snowing gorgeous fluffy flakes. It was like all of nature and the world (and the university’s clock tower) was exclaiming YES.

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Oh, it was so absolutely perfect! He planned it so well to have everyone there, even out-of-town friends and family, and I had absolutely no suspicions because they were already there for the art exhibit! I was so utterly distracted with the art show that, even though I knew he had purchased a ring several months before, I never even saw it coming. Usually I’m pretty good at figuring things out in advance, but this took me completely by surprise.

personal photo, right outside the building where I spent most of the past 4.5 years

We still can’t believe our luck with the snowfall and ringing bells, as those aren’t things you can plan or even expect. I thought stuff like that only happens in movies!

Did anyone else have a proposal where everything just sort of came together, even the unexpected? Did anyone see the question coming, or were you oblivious like I was?