Registry Stalking
I have a very strong sense of curiosity. So strong, that if Mr. Bunting hints at something that sparks my curiosity, I’ll obsess about it for weeks until he himself can no longer remember what it was about (or at least he pretends he doesn’t remember).
Yes, I was totally one of those kids who would try to find any hidden Christmas presents before Christmas. But I also do enjoy surprises, so when I found where they were hidden I just couldn’t bring myself to finish peeking. Apparently it was enough just to know where they were hidden.
image via DeClubz
The same goes for our wedding registry. Mr. Bunting and I have invested a LOT of time and brainpower into our wedding registry. Just how much, you ask? Let’s just say that when someone told me about their friend who spent three hours in Bed Bath & Beyond, I responded with “Oh, which time?” We have been to that store so many times that the people know us by name, and each time our duration was at least two hours in length. It’s not that we’re greedy, it’s just that we have to start from scratch with everything. The majority of our possessions are what I like to call “college” quality, meaning they’re great for when you’re a college student but could now stand to be replaced. So we needed to register for many, many things, and since we were both fresh out of college, neither of us really knew what we needed or wanted now that we were entering the “real” world. We knew absolutely nothing about what brands to buy, either, hence a lot of time in the store comparing pots and pans (Mother Bunting is my hero and helped us out immensely).
Since we took such great care with our selections, I am genuinely excited about the items we registered for. And I’m just dying to know what we’ll be getting off that list! My curiosity is like a little whirlwind in all of its eagerness, but do I really want to ruin the surprise of what people have purchased? No. No I do not.
So I have found a compromise that satisfies both desires without giving away too much. Whenever I feel that curiosity stirring, I open a new internet window, make it reaaaaally short, and log in to my registry. This way I can watch the number of gifts go up without actually seeing what has been purchased. Somehow, I still have the willpower not to scroll down. Okay, I may have scrolled down just a teeeensy bit once or twice, but I’ve been pretty good! If you find that you can’t resist, though, then unfortunately this technique won’t work for you.
Is anyone else as curious as I am when it comes to these things? What tricks have you discovered to satisfy your craving, or are you simply unashamed to browse the full registry?
Ring around the research
We bought Mr. Bunting’s wedding band a few days ago, and I secretly think I am much more excited for its arrival than he is. Not because he’s not excited to marry me, mind you, but because it IS a piece of jewelry, and well, I like shiny things. Enough said, right?
Finding the right band took some time and research on our part. I’m definitely not the type of person who can walk into the first store, pick something out, and make a decision without considering my other options. Especially when that something is as important (and pricey) as a wedding band. We originally were going to get a ring made of Damascus metal from an artist online, but we both decided we’d like to have the customer service and warranty offered through a well-established jeweler, who we knew would be around in 10 years in case something happened to our ring. There are some VERY neat rings out there. I’m talking zebra-swirl patterns, wood or water buffalo horn inlays, and even rings made from meteorites! But, again, we needed to think long-term durability for the ring we’d say our vows on.
So Mr. Bunting and I went to every jewelry store in the area to learn as much as we could about the options as well as to see all the designs available. The design was up to him, but I took it upon myself to research the different properties of metals and non-metals so we would end up with something that fit us.
I am by no means claiming to be an expert, but here is my understanding of some of the contemporary metals/non-metals (and gold) that are becoming more and more popular.
Gold
image via Engagement Rings Plus
Gold would have been our top choice, but with the current market prices it is something we just simply cannot afford.
Benefits: Aside from it’s aesthetics, rings made of gold can be re-sized again and again. This is great, especially if he loses or gains weight down the road.
Disadvantages: Expensive! It will also scratch. It can be polished, but every time it’s polished you’re losing a tiiiiiiny bit of the surface. It is also malleable, meaning over time it’s likely that the band will wear thin (this can be fixed by adding a ‘shank’) or become misshapen.
Titanium and Stainless Steel
image via Wedding Rings Reviews
Every jeweler we talked to said they would never recommend titanium because of how easily it scratches. One even said you could buy a new scratch-free ring, and by the time you got out the door, it would be scratched already. Obviously this is a bit of an exaggeration, but we threw this option out the window right away. Stainless steel was also discouraged because it scratches easily as well. Granted nothing is scratch-proof, but the stories we heard were enough to make us keep looking at other options.
Benefits: Very affordable.
Disadvantages: Scratches waaaaaaaay too easily.
Tungsten Carbide
image via Titanium Jewelry
Tungsten carbide is one of the more popular contemporary metal choices right now, and I’m sure a lot of you know someone that has one. I originally thought we would get a tungsten carbide ring for Mr. Bunting, but we both quickly changed our mind when we read up on it a little more.
While it comes in many designs and three colors (white, gray, black), can be inlaid with other materials, and is VERY scratch resistant (but not scratch-proof), the drawbacks were just too much for us. Tungsten carbide is very, very hard. Combined with it’s high scratch-resistance, it was originally advertised as being indestructible. This is FAR from the truth. Because tungsten carbide is so hard, it has little flexibility. So if enough pressure is applied at the right point(s), it will shatter. In case of an emergency, you can actually use pliers to break it off. Unfortunately, this brittleness means that if its wearer drops it on a hard surface, like the locker room floor or a marble counter, it could very well break or chip. If you buy your ring from an established jeweler, they may offer replacement warranties. This means you have to send in the fragments of your old ring and you’ll get a brand new one, but it also means bye-bye to the ring you said your vows over.
Mr. Bunting and I didn’t like the idea of his wedding band shattering if accidentally dropped, but it really is a personal decision you’ll have to make. It’s great that it’s so scratch-resistant, but if you YouTube tungsten carbide rings shattering, you’ll see just how fragile they can be.
Benefits: Very affordable (you can find rings as low as $20), scratch-resistant, many designs and styles to fit every personality.
Disadvantages: It is brittle and will shatter or chip if dropped on a hard surface, cannot be re-sized.
Black Ceramic
image via My Jewelry Box
I believe ceramic rings are a newer trend. The majority we saw were black, but they can be made in pink as well. Y’know, in case he absolutely loves pink.
Ceramic rings are not, as one may initially think, created through the the same process as ceramic tiles or pottery, so don’t let the name fool you into thinking this will break at the slightest touch. However, like tungsten carbide, they can still potentially chip if dropped. My understanding is that they are not quite as scratch-resistant as tungsten, and I’ve heard mixed reviews about whether they’re more or less breakable than tungsten.
One jeweler we talked to had his own wedding band made of this, and he loved it. His ring was three years old at the time, and wasn’t scratched at all. However, another jeweler we talked to wouldn’t recommend it for a wedding ring just because there wasn’t enough information about the material for her to look us in the eye and say, yes, you will be satisfied with this ring.
Black ceramic was a top choice for us because it looks so neat, but we just didn’t have enough information to feel comfortable with it as Mr. Bunting’s wedding band. If we were shopping for a casual ring, though, I would definitely buy something made of black ceramic.
Benefits: These rings are SUPER light weight! It honestly feels almost as light as plastic, which is great if he hates the feeling of something on his finger. The color is throughout the entire material instead of just a surface coating, so if it does scratch, it will only reveal more black instead of silver or white. They are affordable, and come in some very sleek and modern designs. They are also scratch-resistant.
Disadvantages: Still has the potential to chip or break and cannot be re-sized. Black ceramic has been used widely in men’s watches, but seems to be relatively new in the wedding band industry. Hence, there is little out there about its overall durability as a wedding ring.
Cobalt (Brute, Brawn, Armor)
image via Scott Kay
You may see these popping up more and more at different jewelers. We saw them under the names Brute Cobalt, Brawn Cobalt, and Armor Cobalt, but they’re all the same thing (just slightly different design lines depending on what jeweler you go to). The process is patented by Scott Kay, an American jeweler who absolutely hates tungsten carbide for use in wedding bands (just visit his website and you’ll find those shattering videos I was talking about). I thought I heard that cobalt can be found in other rings as a sort of additive material, but these cobalt rings are only made by Scott Kay since it’s a patented process. Because I don’t know how any cobalt-additives (if they exist) compare to Scott Kay cobalt, we stayed away from rings that weren’t officially SK.
Cobalt is moderately scratch-resistant. Not as much as tungsten carbide or black ceramic, but definitely more-so than gold. It will not bend or shatter/break. You need to use a diamond-tip blade to cut it off, but more and more Emergency Rooms have these on hand. It cannot be re-sized, but it is a very bright white color that won’t tarnish.
For those with skin sensitivities, it is hypoallergenic. In fact, cobalt is even bio-compatible, meaning it lives in harmony inside the human body and has been used in the medical field for such things as joint replacements.
Benefits: Made in the USA (for those who want to avoid any conflict-jewelry), will not bend/break, bright white in color, scratch-resistant and durable.
Disadvantages: Cannot be re-sized, limited only to the white color, also limited to Scott Kay’s designs so no fancy black inlays.
There is no “perfect” wedding band material. None of them, despite what anyone tells you, are 100% scratch-proof, and tungsten is definitely not indestructible. So, after going from one material to another, we finally settled on our decision: SK Cobalt. We liked that it wouldn’t shatter if dropped, was still scratch resistant, and was whiter than white gold. It was also still within our budget, and even though there were no really neat inlays offered, we purchased a ring that we both loved and, more importantly, were confident of.
Did anyone else find themselves learning more about metals and non-metals when searching for the right band? Did your findings surprise you at all? Any other interesting tidbits I may have missed? I thought for sure we’d end up with tungsten going in to it, and I was a bit shocked to learn it wasn’t as durable as I thought. I know most men do not wear the same wedding band their ENTIRE lives, but I’d rather upgrade it with an anniversary ring than replace it because it shattered.
The Passport: So not awesome-sauce.
Note: I originally wrote this post over a month ago and there have been recent developments since, so stay tuned for part II.
These shoes rock! These shoes suck…
Shoe shopping. Most girls love it. A few girls hate it. I personally start off loving it, but then ultimately end up wanting to throw shoes across the store in frustration. Okay, that may be taking it a bit too far, but I really do get frustrated when it comes to shoes.
You see, I’m one of those girls with weird feet. Not like six toes weird or anything, but I do have:
- a.) larger feet (it comes with being tall)
- b.) wide feet
- c.) a true half size
- d.) unusually knobby bone bits
Combine these things and you’re very limited to what shoes you can wear. I am a 10.5 size, and unfortunately a lot of brands stop the half-sizes at 9.5. That means that 10s are usually a bit too small, and 11s are usually a bit too big. If I do find a shoe that fits length-wise, my next obstacle is the width. My feet are a bit wider, and it only makes matters worse that the bones on the main joint below my big toe are very knobby. They aren’t bunions, but they may as well be mild ones with they way they stick out. So all those cute flats that are EVERYWHERE? Take note of where the opening fall across your foot. Yep. Right over that knobby joint of the inner foot. There’s also a nerve that goes across that region, so if the fit is tight against a wider or knobbier foot, it compresses against that nerve and your big toe will actually start to go numb. So not good.
As you can imagine, shoe shopping is very hard for me. Most shoes are too big or too small, if they even come in a larger size to begin with, and then are too narrow or tight across that nerve. I never have much luck at our stores.
BUT! I have found hope! You may or may not know of it already, but on the off chance that you don’t, there is a new obsession of mine:
Hundreds of shoes. Of all shapes, styles, and colors. Including larger half sizes. But the best part? Free shipping, free return shipping, and returns are accepted up to 365 days since the purchase (as long as they’re still in the same condition as when received). Ladies. This is amazing. This is the mecca of shoe havens. I am so hooked.
image via endless.com
I have already gone through several orders on my quest to find comfortable shoes I like, and this Bunting is definitely liking.
image via endless.com
image via endless.com
image via endless.com
image via endless.com
All of these shoes rock, but they just weren’t meant to be for my wedding so the search is on.
Does anyone else have a favorite secret or not-so-secret source for their shoe fix? Is anyone else dealing with problem feet?
It’s kind of a big deal…
…our wedding date, that is. Mr. Bunting has a lot of out-of-town and out-of-state relatives, so save-the-dates were a must for us. Ok, I absolutely love paper and designing things to go on paper, so I would have made STDs (tee-hee, it never gets old) regardless of how many guests are out-of-town.
Hive, I have a confession. I’m known to be a bit of a perfectionist. Not a “rrrrrggh, I’ll go bridezilla on you!” perfectionist, but nevertheless someone who obsesses over the tiniest details. I am also an artist (an illustrator, to be specific). Combine those two elements and you wind up with an artist who has to create the absolute PERFECT representation of who-we-are-as-a-couple design to share with the world. That’s a lot of pressure. And requires a LOT of thought. So as you can imagine, our STDs were not created right away.
In fact, I may or may not have procrastinated a little. Or a lot. I knew I wanted to have an illustrated drawing of us, but suddenly the deadline to mail them out was looming, and I didn’t even know where to begin, and oh gawd I really need to settle on our colors, and I want to draw us but it’s been so long since I’ve drawn people and does Mr. Bunting look too Asian and why don’t I look right and yes we shall have blue hair because it’s cool and finally, WHEW-THEY’RE-DONE! As done as they’ll ever be, anyway! I wasn’t completely satisfied, but sometimes you just have to set things free (especially when they’re overdue).
personal design
personal design
Like many budget-friendly brides before me, I designed them in the format of postcards to take full advantage of the cheaper postcard stamp. I also learned (beforehand, thankfully) that the US Post Office cannot and will not mail postcards with rounded corners, so I only rounded them on those I knew would be personally handed out. It’s actually a good idea to stop by your post office with a mock-up before you print your entire run of postcards or wedding invitations, just to make absolutely sure they’re good to go.
In retrospect, I would have put the date on the front side, as many people didn’t think to flip them over and read the back. Consequently, many people did not even know we had a wedding website since that tidbit was also on the backside. Even Mother Bunting didn’t know there was information on the back, but to be fair I did personally hand it to her instead of mail it.
How did your save-the-dates turn out, and if you made them yourself did you struggle with the “perfect” design? Did you learn anything else about mailing standards that other brides should know beforehand?
The Proposal
I won’t get into how Mr. Bunting and I met quite yet, but I will share with you how we became engaged.
The date was December 3rd, the year 2009.
Cue flashback music and foggy effects.
It was the night of my BFA Exhibit, the thesis art show I had been working toward for the past 4.5 years since first stepping into the art department as a freshman student. The past six months revolved around this single show: brainstorming ideas and themes, deciding on subject matter, creating the art work, refining the art work, figuring out how to display everything, designing and mailing out postcards to those invited to the reception, organizing food (this is beginning to sound like a mini wedding, isn’t it?), putting my thoughts into words with an artist statement, and making it all come together in a professional manner. Like most thesis projects, if you didn’t do it right then you wouldn’t graduate from the program.
My show, which was a collaborative effort between three other people, had already been on display for a week before a closing reception to celebrate it all. The closing reception was a huge success, with merriment and food and of course, plenty of art. The place was packed with people from start to well-after finish, so I was already on a high with my delight. Our group of friends planned to to head out to a restaurant after the reception to celebrate, so after we got the food cleaned up people started drifting away with the intention to meet us there. I said good-byes to my immediate family (some of whom had traveled from out-of-town) since they weren’t going out with us. Mr. Bunting, who had been my boyfriend for the past 5.5 years, and I were the last to leave. Once I had retrieved my coat and things, he told me he had a surprise for me. My thoughts? He must have bought me a present for finishing my exhibit, how sweet! Instead, he blind-folded me and spun me around multiple times, then lead me down the hall. I was asked to plug my ears, which I did so suspiciously. Because I like the full effect of surprises, I plugged them tight so I couldn’t see or hear anything. I could tell when we went outside, though, because it was significantly colder and I could suddenly feel snowflakes on my face. I could also smell something warm and good, like woodsmoke. This routed my suspicion in an entirely new direction, and my excitement grew as I speculated about what was going to happen.
personal photo
Even my assumptions didn’t prepare me. When I removed the blind-fold, I was greeted by a half-circle of my closest friends and family, all holding sparklers as these huge fluffy snowflakes of the first real snowfall drifted down.
personal photo
Mr. Bunting got down on one knee and asked me if I would do him the honor of being his wife. I didn’t hesitate for a moment with my answer – YES! And then the bells started ringing from the campus clocktower. No kidding. There were bells. They were ringing. There were actual ringing bells not seconds after I said yes. And it was snowing gorgeous fluffy flakes. It was like all of nature and the world (and the university’s clock tower) was exclaiming YES.
personal photo
Oh, it was so absolutely perfect! He planned it so well to have everyone there, even out-of-town friends and family, and I had absolutely no suspicions because they were already there for the art exhibit! I was so utterly distracted with the art show that, even though I knew he had purchased a ring several months before, I never even saw it coming. Usually I’m pretty good at figuring things out in advance, but this took me completely by surprise.
personal photo, right outside the building where I spent most of the past 4.5 years
We still can’t believe our luck with the snowfall and ringing bells, as those aren’t things you can plan or even expect. I thought stuff like that only happens in movies!
Did anyone else have a proposal where everything just sort of came together, even the unexpected? Did anyone see the question coming, or were you oblivious like I was?
